"I am reminded I am a woman when I shave my legs as part of my personal beauty regimen. When I schedule an appointment to get a brazilian wax. I am reminded as I contour my face, fill in my brows, pucker my lips. When I dress to accentuate my figure. When I get catcalled and leered at by men for existing in said figure."
But none of these are universally feminine. These are commercial elements, packaged and sold as identity to cohorts of people.
Imagine a Masai maiden. Are her legs shaved?
How come? Even in your imagination.
Imagine an Eskimo princess living traditionally. Is she getting catcalled?
Do Orthodox Jewish men catcall Orthodox Jewish women?
We are neither the things nor the identities being sold to us.
Most of the things we think we know about ourselves are just tales some marketer hawking wares told us that we later internalized.
I think I address the fact that there is no “universal” femininity. so the things I list as examples of what reminds me of my position as a woman (and this is not the same thing as feeling feminine!) are specific to me. They may not be applicable to women in other communities, but I’m sure they have their own reminders.
You are correct—and I’m well aware—of the fact that there is a lot of marketing dictating social expectations / trends. Shaving and wearing makeup aren’t my identity though. They are just behaviors I opt into with the understanding of the history behind them and that I don’t necessarily have to. My outlook on what makes up my identity does go beyond these things, which I expand on in other posts!
I am new to social media, and based on the example being set I get the sense that there is an expectation that discourse should be strident, reductive, tribal, and confrontational.
That is not my way.
I will give this response some thought.
Also I apparently need to stop using the iOS app. The typos in my comment above are signaling that I need to interact with substack exclusively on Android.
I appreciate your comment! I don’t really like confrontational or reductive discourse — I prefer it to be expansive. But I know what you’re talking about, a lot of online interactions can be kinda aggressive & closed to new opinions.
My general preference is to just talk about what applies to me and analyze my experiences without trying to dictate that my truth is relevant to everyone else! But I really like comparing and seeing where the patterns are.
"I am reminded I am a woman when I shave my legs as part of my personal beauty regimen. When I schedule an appointment to get a brazilian wax. I am reminded as I contour my face, fill in my brows, pucker my lips. When I dress to accentuate my figure. When I get catcalled and leered at by men for existing in said figure."
But none of these are universally feminine. These are commercial elements, packaged and sold as identity to cohorts of people.
Imagine a Masai maiden. Are her legs shaved?
How come? Even in your imagination.
Imagine an Eskimo princess living traditionally. Is she getting catcalled?
Do Orthodox Jewish men catcall Orthodox Jewish women?
We are neither the things nor the identities being sold to us.
Most of the things we think we know about ourselves are just tales some marketer hawking wares told us that we later internalized.
I think I address the fact that there is no “universal” femininity. so the things I list as examples of what reminds me of my position as a woman (and this is not the same thing as feeling feminine!) are specific to me. They may not be applicable to women in other communities, but I’m sure they have their own reminders.
You are correct—and I’m well aware—of the fact that there is a lot of marketing dictating social expectations / trends. Shaving and wearing makeup aren’t my identity though. They are just behaviors I opt into with the understanding of the history behind them and that I don’t necessarily have to. My outlook on what makes up my identity does go beyond these things, which I expand on in other posts!
I am new to social media, and based on the example being set I get the sense that there is an expectation that discourse should be strident, reductive, tribal, and confrontational.
That is not my way.
I will give this response some thought.
Also I apparently need to stop using the iOS app. The typos in my comment above are signaling that I need to interact with substack exclusively on Android.
Will fix.
I appreciate your comment! I don’t really like confrontational or reductive discourse — I prefer it to be expansive. But I know what you’re talking about, a lot of online interactions can be kinda aggressive & closed to new opinions.
My general preference is to just talk about what applies to me and analyze my experiences without trying to dictate that my truth is relevant to everyone else! But I really like comparing and seeing where the patterns are.